No Wonder He's Ticked...
Previously on WMD...
We learned that President Clinton wasn't too pleased that he wasn't invited to speak at President Reagan's funeral.From ABC News:
The death of former President Reagan has prompted a one-week delay for the release of a Bill Clinton documentary based on the best-seller "The Hunting of the President."
The movie had been scheduled for release Friday, but Regent Entertainment postponed it until June 18. The movie's red-carpet premiere in New York City also was put off from Wednesday to June 16.
That movie will premiere in Little Rock, Ark., on June 15 at a $100 per person benefit that will feature Whitewater figure Susan McDougal.
"Our film celebrates the presidency and is a film all about respect for the presidency," Paul Colichman, a partner in Regent, said Tuesday. "We decided it was wholly inappropriate during a week of mourning in the country for a much-beloved president to be having a celebration."
Matt's Chat
Man, the movie is getting delayed too! It MUST be a Vast Right Wing Conspiracytm!Mark's Remarks
Luckily, the TIB network listening devices were being employed and we have some reaction from Clinton when he heard the news:
Clinton: What? That old codger finally died? Son of a (expletive deleted)! This will hinder my book sales, or can I still sell it?
Dick, take a poll! Wait, I forgot, Dick has joined that vast right wing conspiracy! In fact, this is another effort on their part to come after me! Staffer, come here and take a poll on my book sales.
They are OK? Excellent. Now, we have this excellent movie, tell me what the people would think about having it as scheduled?
Damn! Americans are just so gullible when confronted with a genuine person of integrity, don't they know that I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FRONT AND CENTER THIS WEEK!!!!!! ugh, I hate Republicans.
Wait, I know, I can speak at the funeral...there, I can make great comparisons to how Reagan and I were alike, well, you know, except for wanting a strong America, except for integrity, and except for marital fidelity; but hey, we wore suits, that is similar!
Call the Reagans, but first, my, you look hot in that outfit, Intern #7....uh....
(three hours later)
Clinton: WHAT!?! The family has chosen speakers already! The sheer gall that they would not think of me! I mean, so what if I tried to tear down everything the man built? So what if I destroyed the integrity he brought to the White House? I am an ex-President, darnit! Boohoo! Sob! It is just not fair....it is just not fair....I can't help it that I am a lecher! In fact, this is wrong....the family should not decide how to bury their husband, father, grandfather and friend....it should be me, since I pay taxes (well, just a few cents after the laundering and deductions). This is an outrage! Why can't I be the center of attention! This could be a great moment! Why?!!??
(here the bugs got wet from all the sobbing, and were spontaneously sucked out a window when Hillary entered, sucking all oxygen out of the room)
