Have you ever, dear reader, desired to post your luminous animadversions on the World Wide Web, and want to make sure that absolutely no one reads them? If so, try Blogger, the Internet’s answer to the Montreal Expos. Blogger is the World Wide Web’s version of the Titanic—except Blogger wasn’t even impressive to begin with. Blogger is the computer version of Walter Mondale’s ’84 presidential bid. It’s a disaster, from start to finish.
First, “webbloggers” who “own” their own “blogspot.com” address have the misfortune of wielding a “website” with an horrifically cumbersome title. Why doesn’t Blogger simply streamline things and come up with catchier URLs, such as http://www.crazy~fish/_essay_4639457490~1984Chevy
CapriceClassic.abracADABRA.StanleyFish_is_a_charlatan. hottomale.yukos? That should really draw the readers in!
And we mustn’t forget the fact that Blogger is an Internet eyesore. It’s the computer equivalent of a Damien Hurst original; it’s the Internet’s Linda Tripp. We’d rather spend time staring at David Crosby naked than beholding Blogger’s aesthetic deficiencies.
In addition, we can’t forget Blogger’s commitment to service: After a few short years, its timely staff will solve whatever problem it caused.
To be sure, some might say to us: But Blogger is free. To which we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” respond: Sure, and forced sterilization is free in India—but we don’t recommend it.
Friday, September 10, 2004
HMQ on Blogger
From Hatemonger's Quarterly:
