Ohio GOP and the "Platform"

The cover letter from Deputy Chairman Kevin DeWine is dated June 25th, but I just received this fundraising appeal a couple of days ago. After the phone call incident, I decided to give this one a day or two to settle in before I got to it...

As the recently elected Deputy Chairman of the Ohio Republican Party, I'm honored to have been asked by Chairman Bob Bennett to head an important project that is vital to the future of our party.

TRANSLATION: I had one of my staffers throw this together... (Oh, settle down, it's hyperbole...)

As we prepare for 2008, Republicans must not only be unified, but also resolute in standing for core, conservative principles like limited government, lower taxes and traditional American values.

We lost our way in 2006 because we didn't do that.

TRANSLATION: We'd like to take this opportunity to demonstrate once again that we heard you, the little people. We're going to campaign, once again, on conservative values and then when we get back in to office, we're going to forget what got us there.

Matthew, failure is not an option in 2008. If we fail to fight for core Republican principles and work hard in all 88 Ohio counties, then we risk losing the White House.

No kidding! Can we see some evidence that y'all know what "core Republican values" actually are?

Can you imagine what it would be like to have a President Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama working with a U.S. Congress under Democrat control?

Actually, that isn't too much of a stretch for me, Kev... It would be an awful lot like the last seven years -- only the social conservatives can be ticked off too!

The 2007 REPUBLICAN PARTY PLATFORM ASSESSMENT is an important project that allows you to have a voice in the direction of your Republican Party -- both in Ohio and nationally.

TRANSLATION: Of course, we're not going to ask you the questions that really matter because we aren't really all that interested in what you have to say anyway...

As the 2008 campaign gears up over the next several months, bot the Ohio Republican Party and the Republican National Committee will begin drafting language for its state and national platforms, respectively.

Now, I happen to know for a fact that Ohio's Republican Party doesn't have a platform...we have a Big Tent instead. How do I know this? Because every time I talk about principles and platforms, I'm told by folks who know, that we don't have a platform and that I should work within the system to get one. Or is this part of the new plan that I keep hearing about?

As you know, the Republican Party Platform is a statement of our agenda and what we believe. That's why it's important that I understand how you feel about a number of issues, including...

FEDERAL SPENDING: Do you believe that the Republican Party should support another attempt to pass a balanced budget amendment?

Well, I think that's a dandy of an idea...why didn't we think of that when we actually had the votes to get one passed?

MILITARY SPENDING: Should the United States increase, decrease, or leave military spending at the same level over the next five years?

Well, I'd like to think we should spend whatever it takes to win the war.

TAXES: Do you agree that Republican tax cuts, including the child-tax credit and eliminating the marriage penalty tax, should be made permenant?

Yeah, I do. Too bad my Republican Senator from Ohio doesn't.........

After you've filled out the 2007 REPUBLICAN PARTY PLATFORM ASSESSMENT, simply mail your completed survey along with a generous contribution of $500, $250, or $100.

Your financial support is critical in helping us finance our party identification and turnout project for 2008. This is a massive effort -- and it's vital to our success in 2008.

TRANSLATION: We're completely crazy and are sticking out our hands for cash now in hopes that you went along for the ride and now are as completely daft as we are...

If you would like to complete the @))& REPUBLICAN PARTY PLATFORM ASSESSMENT and give a more modest financial contribution, I hope you will consider mailing your contribution of $50 to help defray the cost of processing your answers.

TRANSLATION: Part of why we're having so much trouble financially is that we're paying somebody $50 an hour to read what you sent us and then throw it away...

I believe 2008 will be different...and I ask you to please read on to find out why.

Oh, I wouldn't miss this for the world...

In Ohio, Republicans in both the Ohio House of Representatives and the State Senate are standing up against big government, higher taxes, and public corruption.

By having the Democratic governor of this loving his "Republican" budget so much he actually embraced the Republican Speaker of the Ohio House of Representatives...right?

In fact, Republicans in the Ohio House of Representatives recently passed a low-growth, balanced state budget that doesn't raise taxes. Additionally, Republicans led the fight to restore funding for Ohio's school voucher program that was cut by Governor Ted Strickland while still granting a $25,000 property tax exemption for Ohio senior citizens.

Of course, we didn't actually reduce spending, didn't encourage tax cuts for the rest of Ohioans, and let Taxin' Ted veto out the voucher program...

In Washington, D.C., there is an army of Republican leaders in the U.S. Congress that are rising up and fighting against compromise and the Democrat's tax and spend schemes.

There just aren't as many as there used to be because we forgot that we were Republicans and were supposed to be fiscal conservatives...

One such Republican is Minority Leader of the U. S. House, Congressman John Boehner.

He is a Great American!

While Democrats like Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton (and sometimes Bill Clinton) are sounding the rallying cry of big government and big tax increases to solve America's problems, we have Republican leaders like Congressman Boehner fighting against them.

I thought we had a Republican Senator too...what's his name again? Oh, he's not fighting for Republican values, but rather joining the Democrats in opposing our agenda... Hmm...maybe we should do something about that, doncha think?

Even as Democrats campaigned in 2006 as fiscal conservatives, Democrat leaders are now pushing a massive tax increase of $2 trillion.

I'm actually more worried about the Islamofascist threat than this, but I can play this game too... All this means is that like Republicans, Democrats don't have a clue what fiscal conservatism is either... Color me shocked and appalled...

The reason why 2008 will be different is because we're already seeing Republicans doing what they're supposed to do -- fighting against big government and massive tax increases.

What is Senator Whatshisname doing on these issues, again?

With your support, I want to help build the Republican Party of the future. Like you, I believe so strongly about the Republican Party, the principles that it is founded on the things that it stands for.

Reagan had it wrong...he should have said, "Verify. Then trust."

But I need your help. We must win the White House in 2008, re-elect our Republican seats in Congress and re-elect our Republican majority in the Ohio House of Representatives. With all that is at stake, it's absolutely critical that you complete and return your 2007 REPUBLICAN PARTY PLATFORM ASSESSMENT along with your generous financial contribution.

Remember, this important project is critical in shaping the future of the Republican Party's platform and what we stand for as a party.

TRANSLATION: We stand for sticking our hand out for a handout...

It will take courage, conviction, standing on principles and a lot of hard work to win in 2008. Filling out the 2007 REPUBLICAN PARTY PLATFORM ASSESSMENT is a step in that direction.

Of course, all I really want is your check.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

TRANSLATION: ...and cashing your check...

Sincerely,

Kevin DeWine

P.S. We lost our way in 2006 because we didn't honor the Republican values and principles that made our party great.

TRANSLATION: Of course, we're going to go ahead and keep supporting guys with an "R" after their names no matter what they think or do...

The 2007 REPUBLICAN PARTY PLATFORM ASSESSMENT is an important opportunity for you to get involved and be heard.

TRANSLATION: We really want your check, man!

By standing for Republican principles like limited government, lower taxes and traditional American values, you can help make a big difference in 2008.

TRANSLATION: At least until the day after elections, when we're gonna do whatever the heck we want! Because you do not intimidate us!

Will you please make a commitment today to complete and return your survey with your generous financial contribution? Thank you!

No, no, no, Kevin, thank you...

Now, I could go over each and every question in this thing, but let's just say that in the Domestic Affairs section, Senator Voinovich doesn't fare very well; in the National Defense and Foreign Policy section, Senator Crying Man doesn't fare very well again; and in the State Issues section, they are looking for pats on the back for what they have already accomplished and/or had vetoed by Gov. Strickland.

In the 2008 Elections section, this was the best question:

4. Do you believe that the national Republican Party and its leaders "got the message" in 2006 and have taken steps to return the party to core Republican values in 2008?

I looked pretty closely, but didn't find the option for "Not only No, but Hell No!" box...

And now, for the "standard" portions of any post I do like this...

FIRST -- The Plea to the Ohio GOP: Someone from the Ohio GOP can feel free to email me and set me straight. I'll publish anything you send me... I'll even give you the "no mocking" guarantee...

SECOND -- The Constructive Criticism: I might actually take this seriously if it weren't really just a plea for money. Actually, an effort like this might go a long way towards restoring some faith if it had any sort of credibility as a tool of actual reform and change.

THIRD -- The Recommendation to Readers: Return these things to their senders with a note saying that you support Republican values and that you'll consider as donation when the party demonstrates that it has the ability to represent Republican values. Remember: Verify, then Trust...