Liberal New Years Resolutions

For Howeird Dean:

1. I resolve to not say anything to harm my party or its fundraising efforts with the American people. Odds of success: 0% Odds will be broken in less than 24 hours after New Years: 100%
2. I resolve to support our troops and their efforts in everything I do, regardless of my party. Odds of success:0%

For John Kerry:

I resolve to make a coherent argument on my views on Iraq, which will be straightforward, clear, and not taking two positions on one issue. Odds of success: 0%

For Nancy Pelosi:

I resolve to demand my party take a unifying position that while disagreeing with the President, is clear, concise, with clear goals and strategy. Odds of success: 0%

For Al Gore:

I resolve to actually do something relevant to American government. Odds of success: come on now...

For MoveOn.org:

We resolve to actually MOVE ON....Odds of success: Are you friggin Kidding?

For Joe Wilson:

I resolve to tell the truth about my mission to Niger, about my wife's identity, and my own machinations. Odds of success: Do negative numbers count?

For Hillary:

I resolve to be honest with the New York voters about my Presidential aspirations. Um, impossible resolutions should not be made, HillRod!